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.Copyright, Terry Gibson, BA, MEd
Be Grammar-Confident
Leisurely Crash Course in Written English
An oxymoron of course.
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Welcome to
Grefs
Course A-8
Open GLOSSARY in Course C-1
. . . . . . .A Senior Course*
. . . . . . .The Column, Satire and Humor
. . . . . .. . . . . . Fun for all who persevered!
. . . Start . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . Task. .
.. . A8 a Columns that sell- Satire-The Essay.. A8a
. ..A8 aa Comic Commercials-- A Script . . ... A8aa
. . . . . . .. . . (From #6)
. . .A8 b Historical and Hysterical Essays.. . . A8b
. . .A8 bb Blended Fairy Tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . .A8bb
. . . . . . . . . . . .Poems
. . .A8 c. . Comic Poetry, and Ogden Nash. . . .A8c
. . A8 cc. Dancing and Galloping poems. . . . . A8cc
. . . . .. . . . . . .TAdada: dactyls dance
.. . . . .. . . . . . .dadaTA: anapests gallop
. . . . . .. . . . . .As always, choose any two of six.
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Swan's Practical English Usage, published by Oxford is the 1995 text that serves as reference. It is recent but will be replaced within
the next few years as we get more and more muddled.
. . . . . .Both British and American Forms are updated. e.g. dialog, US
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..A8 a Columns that sell- Satire-The Essay. A8a
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. . . .. . . .The Column, Satire and Humor
WHAT IS A COLUMN ?
There are four definitions for the word, of which, the fourth one concerns us here. Oxford Dictionary defines it as "a regular section of a newspaper or magazine on a particular subject or by a particular person." Most larger daily newspapers have full-time columnists, whose "take" on life makes them unique. They may write of topics from advice to child-care to cooking, to orchid gardening and home repair to technical and technological topics but they have loyal readers who never miss reading. My personal choice for years have been the columnists whose humour leavens all that they write.
My local paper has a writer who can spin a column out of nothing.
That is, she writes of daily events around home, things we all share but hardly notice until she shares the funny side with us. For years she has entertained us. Another paper has an education critic whose columns expose, often through satirical scenarios, the things that redden faces in local politics...yet done in a way that does no harm to the innocent. No doubt he has people who send tips, but no Emperor could get by with new clothes there.
It is an area where beginning writers may find a niche, perhaps in sports or entertainment, and with a sense of humour to raise it above the ordinary find a ready market. Unlike TV, no one has to look gorgeous, so long as the writing is crisp and clear.
I mentioned satire and satirical scenarios.
What, precisely, is satire? And what is a 'scenario'? Rather like a 'scene' without the necessity of realism and truth, a possible listing of events, in this case, making fun of a real situation.
What is the difference between SATIRE and HUMOR?
(Spelt humour in Canada where a lot of things are funnier than you think. It's that extra 'u'.) Briefly, humour is intended to be funny. Smiles start there, and giggles follow guffaws down the hall after a good one. Humour is inoffensive, dealing in puns and other twists of language as much as in more obvious fun. It does not intend to harm or to embarrass, and should not be twisted into racist and other uses. There is a different word for that, not nice.
In summary, humour can range from subtle one-liners here and there unpredictably, the kind of comments that pass right over the heads of some readers even if they stand up, to comments that catch us unawares, entering by a side door. It is the unexpected quality that brings the sudden laugh.
Satire, "caricature, mockery, parody, spoof,sarcasm" Roget's, "moral outrage transformed into comic art. --Philip Roth,
on the other hand--concealing its malice--uses humour, (irony, exaggeration, ridicule, and devastating metaphor) to criticize and reveal bad points of--usually--events and prominent people. Stuffed shirts, dignitaries lacking sufficient dignity, exploiters and cons, all who pretend to be more than they are. Satire provides banana skins adroitly placed to wait for the unwary to slip, traps guaranteed to expose the fakery.
Satire is an art for the fleet of foot who in case of need have a lawyer in the family to extricate them from litigation in extreme cases where the target has no sense of humour at all. It has been an art since Jonathan Swift (1667--1745) swiftly published "A Modest Proposal" showing how the fecundity of the Irish might be used to alleviate suffering at the time of the Potato Famine. I deliberately concealed its meaning in dictionary words because it is such an extreme form of cruel satire. His "Gulliver's Travels" was such a work also, satirizing the upper classes, and much on Jon Stewart's TV Daily Show has that same effect.
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Research is on-going for columnists, to catch foibles, reading the news, being alert. It all becomes potatoes in the soup when commenting on current social trends.
Slant and Balance...Slant, if subtle, can sway public opinion with satire too. It requires a gentle hand to apply where, like lotion on the skin, it slowly, surreptitiously, reddens over time. Far more effective than an open attack, it opens eyes to what is going on, and remarkably clears the hearing of large numbers of people who sincerely believe it was their own idea. Political ploys for example, gives questions that need answers.
Mockery, comedy; Off-Balance to a point of excess it becomes farce, and as mentioned before, can in totalitarian societies be hazardous to health and safety, but temporarily at least, very funny.
Self-degradation by the writer can be hilarious, safe everywhere, playing the fool, out of whose antics truths emerge. Certain stand-up comedians have made good use of it on television.
This item is another 'expository' essay, teaching by example, designed to explain the delicate art of publishing a weekly TV show or daily column.
To the "openbook" assignment: A8a
. . . . . .This applies to all choices that follow.
. .It is the last chance to get help if it is needed.
. . . . . How well do you proof-read and edit ?If help is needed, this makes the help "transparent." Please feel free to use the following steps (and please, to submit them) for whichever of the following two you select. Besides quality of content, as usual separately graded, it shows how the technical writing will be marked.
Suppose you have written the draft of the story that you chose to do in the description of the task. <b>(A) Submit your draft.</b>
Assuming that it has some funny parts, polish it making them funnier, with dialogue, surprise, reaction, "body-language," and <b>submit (B) </b>, the stages of proofreading and any changes made, "bolding" them to get credit for them, and then "the clean copy" ending with your final version, <b>submit (C)</b>.
Part A The story before polishing.. . .. . . Part B Please proof-read and edit a copy of 'A',
. . .. . . . . .. . . and with number, bold the changes:1. Spacing of lines when paragraphs are indented?
2. Paragraphing, what should be included in each paragraph?
. . . . . . Editing3. Dialog, Other punctuation? Unquoted Grammar?. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Spelling? .(Use your .dictionary.)
Part C The polished version.. . . . ... . . . . . . . ...
A weekly column in your local newspaper must start with the first one, which is so good that it will sell, but a set of
several at the same level of interest would suggest that it will
be dependably available week after week. Choose carefully.LOCAL COLOR becomes very important in a column like this, and there is no question that a sprinkling of .COMIC RELIEF will be welcome.
What content to choose becomes easy if you have a group to represent, or a political reason to write. It many be to help a project, or just news from a or charitable organization or theater group to raise interest and community attendance and support.
Length should match what the newspaper already has, or if you are first, judge by lengths in other publications in your area. If interviewed, be guided by what they need. There are writing jobs out there, and they all start with a first try.
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.. . . . A8 aa Comic Commercials-- A Script . .A8aa
Television commercials can be a crashing bore, or sometimes,
when original or funny, worth watching again and again.
PREPARATION: Study the commercials that are running today
1. to see just how much time is available for a commercial.
(Tape the one that seems best, and be guided.)
2.. to see what makes the good ones better than the others. See if the use of LOCAL COLOR perks our interest, and how the action in the ad is helped by COMIC RELIEF -- and when it fits in best. Use at least one of them in yours.
Think of some worthy purpose for advertising, and then
PREPARATION for WRITING A SCRIPT.
What is a SCRIPT and what does it look like?
It is the written text of a play, a film,or a broadcast. It provides location, action, and other business as well as what each character says. Ask the librarian at your public library to lend you copies of several stage plays or anecdotal scripts to see how the page is set up, choose one as a guide for what you will write.
If it is a commercial for a local business or charity, try to get it produced and used. People do get paid for writing them too.
(From #6) LOCAL COLOR a passage which slips unobtrusively into the action and places the dialog into its setting, describing its location. (Not to be overdone or it slows the plot.)
.COMIC RELIEF is a short funny piece with the same characters used when the plot starts to plod along or get heavy, or scary, or tedious.
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PREPARING YOUR SCRIPT
You have decided (let's say) what you will write. It went easily and well.
with what will be said, and how it will end.
Have you described the setting? As needed, the Effects: (lighting, sound, scenery, furniture, surroundings)?Stated / shown a problem, ( a reason for the events) names of speakers, providing details about Appearance, (if needed, age, gender, clothing, attitudes, actions.)?
While writing the script, did you set the page up with a column at left for names of speakers, Did you add suggested "business" what to be doing while speaking, if possible, making it catch and keep attention (Example the "it's BANKERS" advertisements that are so impossibly far out!) They keep changing, so their writer is having fun!Did you spell out not only what is said, but how it is said? All in aid of getting a brief message on the air. . . .
. . . . . Did you time it? Copy a favourite ad, count words, match yours to it.
. . . . (convince readers to buy it, do it, help it . . .[Not expected, acting and camcorder record, but assume you'd need that if you were to try to sell it to a local business.]
When sure, submit.
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Assignment A8aa Prepare a script that includes full directions (as above)
Setting? the Effects: (lighting, sound, scenery, furniture, surroundings)Show a problem, a reason for the events names of speakers, details appearance, (if needed, age, gender, clothing, attitudes, actions.)
Writing the script, a column at left for names of speakers,
what and how it is said,. . . . Time it.
Prepare a script that includes full directions (as above) so we can "see it" bring a laugh between the dull, repeated "real" ones.
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. . . . . . .A8 b. . . Historical and Hysterical Essays . . . A8b. . . . . . . . . .
The Historical Essay
. . . .Authenticity always surpasses researched material. To have been there, a participant rather than observer, makes the writer an authority on that particular topic. Current events today become tomorrow's history, and of considerably more importance than just day to day weather reports
. . . When an elderly person viewing events of the last three quarters of a century, tells of the 1930's it carries the weight of direct experience especially when he opens his old diary. Less so without yellowed pages. Fading memory can edit what we know.
. . . Those who keep diaries may not be aware of their potential value. Consider probably the most famous English diarist, Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) who gives a fascinating view of British history of 1660 to 1669. He recorded contemporary events in code, (usually a sign that secrecy was wise) and it was not decoded until 1825, well beyond the need to keep embarrassments hidden.
. . . When writing a historical essay of the time, such a source provides a solid foundation. The Diary of Anne Frank has recorded for all time, the plight of victims of ethnic persecution, for instance, and I do hope many are recording the social conditions and effects of political policies today. We have members in AP from all over the world... Unfortunately many diaries die with the owner, especially if only on the hard drive.
Print and handwritten copies are more durable.
. . . When a senior writes as follows:
. . . USAGE has replaced grammar, which had evolved over centuries to become the most coherently logical organization. Due to accelerating changes, Grammar's relatively slim book of rules has been replaced by a heavy tome in which the only organization is in alphabetical listings--beautifully thorough and clear, but dense. Less than two hundred pages have been replaced by six hundred fifty-eight. Progress?
--that is observation and valid because I still have the text book I used in grade 8, 1943.Take the next item:
. . . As a writer, I had the great privilege of being a pupil in elementary school while correct grammar was still a serious part of daily curriculum. I was taught by teachers who had a thorough grounding in the beautiful logic of probably the richest, most versatile language in the world. Before entering high school we had all we'd need to know. It may be a shock for our students here to find that this was covered in four years of elementary school.
. . . Four decades have passed since teachers were taught these things, long enough for almost "all who knew" to have died or retired. Few remain, long retired, teachers still, not only able but willing to work hard to undo some of the grievous erosion of what used to be English.
--that was opinion as well as fact.Source of the next?
. . My local cause of this erosion began in 1952 with the wide arrival of television. We had no clue what it would mean. To get news, we watched it in sound bytes predigested, delivered to uncritical viewers. We absorbed the ideas and thoughts and political manipulations of increasingly clever broadcasts until whole populations were convinced to go to war.
. . . Meanwhile--bit by bit--it changed us from a literate society into an oral society. On TV, with all information heard and seen; reading became less and less important. Can it be surprising then, that after a while, only the sound of words mattered, and all meaning was in the oral sound?
--that is observation.. . . Further, it should have been no surprise when by mid 1960's, with glossy publication and much touting of the benefits to creative writing, governments dropped all the hours "wasted" on Grammar from the curriculum, replacing it with transmitted media. 1968 was when teachers here were forbidden to teach grammar. I was there, one of those teachers, experienced, having taught full time since 1950, who did--as all teachers did--as I was told.
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. . . Sadly over the years, the results began to show. Accuracy
became somehow stuffy and old fashioned. Except for English Majors, most new teachers graduated with no firm foundation in their own language. They knew all about the grammar of French, and Spanish--if they knew any at all--but not English. Sadly, not English.
--that is personal experience.
. . . Sad. There really was little of the expected improvement in creative writing, too often quite the reverse. This "anything goes" in class is alive
and well now, often with the result that correct work is marked wrong, and errors accepted. Not that all teachers do not know. Far from it,
but if parents do not know, it becomes difficult for teachers who do.
. . . Should we care? You've seen it.
. . . Like, ppl get msgs u r aloud to rite like that. It dont matr than,
& like hoo needs gramer? If it seams ok spell-check lets reel wds pass
so whos 2 care if there rite?
--That is no longer even prediction. It is here.
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. . . Hysterical Essay for sale?
There are as many right ways to write humour as there are creative.
writers. . . .
Correction: Creative writers who have a gift for the unexpected,
a gift for the unlikely or ridiculous, a gift for skewed logic and surprise. And behind all written humour is a gift with words.How exactly, does humour work? (Humor in US)
What elements are funny? The S: Sudden surprise? Subtlety? Sneaky acts? The Mals: malapropism, malfunction, malleability, maladroit action, and "malarkey." What else? L's: Lack of fit?
Loss of dignity, Language: The unexpected?
Dictionary / internet research and imagination can be as much fun as writing it if more information is needed.To have freedom in telling the facts, invent enough of the situation to disguise the actual people involved. Small towns have their "characters" known to all, to whom strange things happen, and who tend to think after they have spoken. Municipal elections, all elections, make good hunting grounds. It is not necessary to name names, because local readers will know if the shoe fits, but when it really is funny, all will enjoy. Reseach the topic as Humour, and run with it, adapting as needed.
The Surprise ending. Obviously!
(If based on truth, and if it turns out well, try your local paper to see if they will buy it. If it is easy for you, it could become a steady job.)
Submit EITHER a historical essay based on an old diary (Own or grandfather's journal) of an earlier way of life here or in a distant country or from a library, of an authentic event, (one that really happened,) applying what you learned.. Edit and polish it. . .
. . . . . . . . . .........................OR
. . . . . .Share an irresistible Hysterical Essay.Write a short Hysterical Essay on any topic (Social issue, politician, or town council (Canadian politics on TV is fair game-- strange things happen there especially now.. )
.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........... . . . . OR
In this assignment let's pretend an embarrassing event has hit the papers. Reseach the topic of Humour, and run with it, adapting as needed (to avoid being sued!)
. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don't forget::
. . . . . .. . . . . .How well do you proof-read and edit ?.
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.. . . . A8 bb. . . . . The Well-Blended Fairy Tale . . . . . A8bb
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Writing for Little Children
....Most children, by the time they can read, are familiar with a fair number of fairy tales. Their story books have more pictures than text,
most of the time, so any new story need not be overly long. Fresh versions
of the oldies sell apparently well, if they have something different about
them; involving the reader, or expressed in verse, perhaps?However the The Well-Blended Fairy Tale, with its surprises and off-the-wall incongruities by combining any two of the stories especially
when they concern quite different things can make a very funny story,
quite possibly attractive enough to be illustrated and sold as a children's book.Here is a chance to apply all the tricks from earlier lessons, paragraphing when action or speaker changes, correct punctuation, and sentence structure, remembering that in story, indented paragraphs have no blank lines between them... details like that.
Method
Consider the story line of several fairy tales, listing the events that happen, and choose two that can blend well. Stir with a big spoon.Cinderella and the Three Bears, for instance, Cinderella working in the
Three Bears' kitchen hoping to get done before the Bears get home, and
the Fairy Godmother and her magic wand meets the Bears...consider
their surprise when just in the nick of time The Pumpkin turns into a
--you can imagine the rest.... The stories change each other, somehow
finding the happy ending--or maybe, --not.Or else
Another take-off idea, select a nursery rhyme character who meets a
TV talk-show host.,Or else, a television personality goes Through the Looking Glass....
Assignment A8bb You have written the draft of the story that you chose to do in the description above. Does action move the story along?
Character, and emotions are revealed in what they say, and in what they don't. Did you take advantage of it? Description can be overdone, but too little is sterile. Polish it.
If this were to be expanded into a children's book, would it sell? Hey, if it is really funny, it's an idea to consider.
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. . Our Last Senior Level A Session:
Can we assume previous courses have existed?
lf not, please tell so more help can be given.
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. . . .AND FOR OUR POETS
.A8 c
. .Comic Poetry and Ogden Nash A8c
Please Google the name Ogden Nash
What makes his poems so funny?
Who is your favorite comic poet?Forgive me, a rude Waiting-for-the-Bathroom-poem
at a rooming house with many tenants, one lavatory.
Ogden Bash Coulda Writ This Thus:
A mind entrapped by elimination
gets reamed out, in my estimation,
before fertile thoughts can ripen.
They prematurely end off wipen
where even scent is flushed and sent
beyond the bend's rush-èd descent.
Airhead person scant of thought
cleaned the mind of all it got
from small books in little room.
Embarrassed by the sonic boom,
because to pause she would not
by exhausted sound be caught. . .
And those who wait beyond the door?
They curse her fate forevermore.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . © Terry Gibson
A couplet sonnetHumorous devices used here:
1. Lack of FIT! The sonnet is usually a serious, poetic, even beautiful form, metrically iambic...
(The meter here is a combination, mostly trochaic.)The sonnet form certainly does not fit the content.
2. Pun on fertile (fertilizer) scent,
beyond the bend (plumbing)
3. Deliberate misspelling of wiped, to rhyme, ripen
4. Exaggeration, sonic boom (flatulence)
also called "exhausted sound"
5. Also exaggerated, response of those who wait.
and I apologize, much humor is also rude..
Write a short poem in the style of Ogden Nash
.similar to one you found in your research.Name your poem.
Did he use flawless rhythm? No,
If yes,
iambic (taDA taDA)
or trochaic (TAdaTada)
or dactylic (TAdada TAdada)
or anapestc (dadaTA dadaTA?)
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.Dancing and Galloping poems. . . . . A8cc
You may remember how we prepared to write rhythmic verse by chanting the rhythm over and over until we could feel it, clap it, and words start to fit naturally into it?
You did iambic, and later, trochaic.There are several more, but let's take two with three syllables. Later lessons will visit these again but nonsense verse is fine on this first try. Perfection is not expected,
but if you can apply weird spellings like Nash did, to get end rhyme, a quatrain of each would give the taste for each.
.TAdada: dactyls dance: ONE more unFORtunate
TAdada TAdada TAdada TAdada
That is the way to go skip ping along the way
over the bridge past impeccable cottages
TAdada TAdada TAdada TAdada
TAdada TAdada TAdada TAdada
TAdada TAdada TAdada TAdada
TAdada TAdada TAdada TAdada
and
..dadaTA: anapests gallop
dadaTA dada TA dada TA dadaTA
in ter fere, in ter rup ting the ter ri ble noise
of ten horses set loose in the mall at one time
dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA
dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA
dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA
dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA dadaTA
. . . . .Dancing and Galloping
Assignment A8cc
. . . (Dactylic and Anapestic)Continue both of the poem beginnings above and
write your own two lines to rhyme with each of them, abab
ORStart a fresh one and write a quatrain with either Dactylic OR Anapestic, rhyming in couplets or abab.
Punctuate as for sentences.
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Updated April 28 2008
Please submit graded answers to AP Class box if
not placed by Teacher, advancing to a higher level.We have had trouble in the submit-box in AP toward the trophy when ungraded work has been submitted. By submitting graded works into the box, they cannot be lost!
Your five best assignments are now the minimum for a trophy. That means the pressure is off as you do the advanced #6, #7 and #8 worth a percentage of 60 bonus points dependent on your results.
For students achieving at least 90% and expecting to continue to complete all 8, after the first and last four,
there are two trophies.An evaluation form will be sent to get five submissions demanded by the software.
For full feedback, please send your E-mail address.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Back to Top
. . . . . . . .. . Copyright: Tiled wallpaper drawn by Terry Gibson 1996